Human Problems

I don't know why but I don't like "hanging out" with people. Sure it may be fun...but it's only fun at the moment. It's not a satisfactory feeling I retain in my body for a long time. In fact, it vanishes once I get in my car to go home.

I am usually first to ask "Why?"

But I stopped asking "why?" and started looking deep into my soul for such answers.

(Sounds lame, I know but what else do I got?)

right?

I've always believed I was an anti-social freak because I am socially awkward.

I suck at making friends

I suck at starting conversations

I suck at greeting others

I just suck at being human. (If it even makes sense)

But what can I do?

Even when I'm invited to go out, I always ignore the invitation and just play Leauge of Legends.

What a life.

But maybe someday I will be a social butterfly because I'm tired of just doing nothing.

I'm tired of having my nose stuck in a book.

I'm tired of saying no.

I'm tired of being in my cave.

I want to fly free.

~Rae

Tearing it to Pieces

I don't know why people never take me seriously. Not at church, not at school, not at jobs, not with my friends, not even with my family. I don't understand. Why?

Is it because of my height? Because I'm female? Because of my age? Because of my personality?

Am I even sane?

I could just ponder on all night long wondering why this happens to me. No matter in what situation I am stuck in, no one ever believes a word I say. Even though I have been proven right multiple times, still, no one listens to me or accepts anything I say. People just simply believe I am an understated fact.

It's frustrating because I am open to so many things and people are just so close-minded to me. No one ever focuses on what I do or say.

And ultimately, it's saddening because I want to be taken seriously. I want people to respect me for who I am and listen to my opinions.

All my life I have felt invisible, but lately I have been truly feeling invisible because I'm just simply put aside.

I sometimes wonder if people think that what I say are just lies.

~Rae